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Recently, I made a
couple of blunders that I wish I had not made. In dealing with them, I could
have ignored them; pretending that they didn’t happen and hoping that they would
go away, or, I could take responsibility. Being an adult, I pleaded a momentary
lapse of reasoning. Seriously, it is all about taking responsibility, without
excuses and that is very hard on the ego. (My wife wants to know what I did. Did
I lose all the money at the casino?) It is nothing like that, or even close,
it is all benign stuff. My purpose is for the reader to recall an “oops” in
their life to relate to.
All that I really
had to do was to think it through before I went forward with what became an
embarrassing experience. It was only obvious, after the fact, that what I had
done was to follow an ill-advised plan. I was not aware, beyond my impulsivity,
of any consequences of my actions. Afterwards, it was too late. No “oops
button”, to push for a reset.
When it comes to
gaming, there is no other way to enter that particular reality, than to enter
aware and responsible. There can be a thousand excuses why you lose and one
reason why you win. You can pretend any story that fits what you want to believe
or you can move forward with your evolution, taking responsibility for your
actions.
There are many
resources for gaming, books, articles, authors, teachers and workshops promoting
ways of improving the player’s game. Sometimes I wonder that it is just so much
dribble, including my own stuff. Really, is the game all that complicated? Does
a person need all the stuff out there to enjoy a game? No!
So why go through
all of this? Why promote a better way? It is a learning process for me. The
search is as fun as is the trill of playing the game. Through self-examination
of my thoughts and experiences I intend to come out the other end a better
person. It is not so much that I feel that I am clever, that I have it figured
out. I do believe that we journey together and find people who like to play at
the same “games”. (like-minded) Perhaps sharing what I have discovered may be of
benefit to
others, but mostly it is a benefit to myself, as I acknowledge my mistakes
and assimilate what I have learned. It reminds me of a procedure I used in my
classroom with the kids. At the end of the day, I would have them spend ten
minutes writing down what they learned for the day. Repetition and
acknowledgement locks in the experience. When there is no one else to observe
you, observe yourself.
Playing cards and
dice is not all that complicated. It is enjoyable for some to make up a need to
find a solution for the puzzle. Sometimes I wonder does the enigma exist only
for the purpose of having an enigma? Overcoming the odds is just a slippery
tomato seed. Do we really need to find a way to pick it up? “Just don’t squeeze
so hard.” Ah, a strategy now to play the tomato seed game.
I know that I am a
better player because of how I have directed my actions to learn the game. I
know that my intention to figure it all out has provided me with many tools.
What I am coming to see is that where I am gaining the most knowledge is
recognizing mistakes, accepting mistakes, taking responsibly for those mistakes
and then moving on. Persevering over the loss of anything is to live in the
past. It engages negative emotion and it is a lower energy experience. Stuart
Wilde would say that to persevere over anything is a “tribal paradigm”.
Stopping myself
from engaging in a different story, as a guilty “little boy” who wants to write
a pretend tale to keep himself out of trouble, is the challenge. However, the
benefit is great when I do own up to the reality. The shift is huge when
stepping aside from negative emotion and taking responsibility. I am coming to
see that responsibility is not the critter I once thought it to be. It is not
something that I do for an effect outside of me. It is something that I do to
affect me on the inside.
After all the years
of playing and studying the game, I still lose. I know that it is not because I
have not figured out how to win. I know how to win. I know that it is because it is
still a part of how I play the game. How do you play the game?
Michael Vernon
May 2, 2006
Copyright © 2006
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